(in)distructible

There is something to be said for learning to accept your limitations. From early childhood we’re told we can be and/or do anything we want. Why? Because it’s simply too depressing to tell a child that no, in fact you can not do everything everyone else can. That’s what makes the world turn round. We all fall into our groove and find stuff we’re good at and not. 

Don’t get me wrong I don’t think that you can’t learn to do something. It’s a well documented fact that time and practice can teach you something you’ve never been able to do. Teach you to do it well even. 

It’s times like these where we’re often down on ourselves because we’re not doing something well. There is nothing wrong with getting down on yourself. It can give you the extra motivation to push yourself that much harder. It can provide the motivation to get you to pick up that pencil and draw a little more or jot down a few more lines of code to make your application that much better.

The category I fall into is the “get so down on yourself you stop doing it.” Recently I have started to take on the attitude of still getting down on myself to push that much more but not so much that I begin to hate what ever it is I am working on. It’s a tough stance to take. 

I think the first step into trying to become better at anything is accepting that you suck. You need to look in the mirror or your webcam and tell your self that you suck. Bad. Then after you’ve told your self that a few times, jot down your limitations on what ever it is you suck at. Wow look at that, you have a beautiful list of goals sitting in front of you. Now and this is very important, accept that you suck at these things. I don’t mean talking to your friends in a self deprecating way about how bad you are at web design or knitting. I mean really accept that you’re garbage at the particular task. Look inside. The next thing you need to do is accept that you’re going to fail. It’s all a process. We all fail. There are so many quotes about failure teaching us something that it would be corny to recite anyone of them, but it does. You’re going fail, a bunch. You’ve got to ask your self if you’re prepared for that task, because the learning is the easy part. Failure is the tough one. 

At some point point you may have to accept that you’re really just no good at whatever you’re doing and it may be time to move on. Sometimes we just lack the aptitude to become an expert at something. I don’t think there is anything wrong with this though. 

I used to fancy myself an artist. For years and years I drew things that interested me but I was never really any good. I was even going to go to some fancy schmancy art school and become a computer animator. I am glad that I finally accepted that I was no good at art and no matter how much I tried I was never going to be any good. Sure it hurt a little, but I saved a metric ass ton of money and misery by not going to school and getting a degree that would have been useless. I just don’t have the aptitude for art. I don’t get how crayon drawings of triangles and squares titled after Troy can make it into The MOMA. I still enjoy art. I like looking at stuff that interests me but I no longer waist time on something I was never going to be good at. 

I’ve found a career path that interests me and it’s something I enjoy. I’m fairly good at it. There are still lots of things I suck at but I’ve accepted that. I’ve got my goals laid out and I am working, failing, and making progress. It’s the failing that makes that success that much sweeter. 

I’ve accepted my limitations. I’ve learned to work with them. I’ve even overcome some of them. I’ve learned to accept the things I’m not, while I work on becoming the things I want to be.